Peter & Wendy, I: Childhood & Responsibility

     In Peter & Wendy, written by J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan is a boy who refuses to grow up. However, his refusal to grow up seems to involve more than simply wanting to remain a child. Peter struggles to remember things for very long, and he often seems more interested in himself than in the people around him. By refusing to grow up, Peter preserves the freedom of childhood at the cost of developing the memory, consideration, and sense of responsibility necessary to form meaningful relationships with others. 

     Peter's poor memory represents his inability to connect the past with the future. Like a baby, he lives almost entirely in the present, without thinking much about how his actions affect other people or what consequences they might have later. Remembering the past helps people learn from their experiences, while thinking about the future allows them to set goals and make sacrifices for things that matter. Peter's refusal to grow up prevents him from developing these abilities in the same way that other people do.

          This also helps explain why Peter sometimes seems more interested in looking clever than in actually helping someone. When the children fall asleep while flying and begin falling from the sky, Peter waits until the last moment to rescue them. He wants to appear impressive, even though their safety should matter more than his own performance. He is capable of doing something good, but he seems more concerned with how he looks than with the person he is helping. His behavior shows the difference between wanting to be seen as good and actually caring about someone else. This is especially significant because Peter's poor memory also makes it difficult for him to keep other people's needs in mind when they are not immediately in his attention. Like a very young child who becomes absorbed in whatever is directly in front of them, Peter struggles to maintain an awareness of others beyond the present moment.

     We can also see this in the way Peter reacts when his shadow is sewn back onto him. He celebrates his accomplishment by exclaiming, "I did it!" even though Wendy is the one who actually sewed it back on. Peter's reaction is not necessarily just a refusal to share credit; he was not thinking about Wendy's contribution in the first place. Young children are still developing their ability to remember other people's actions and recognize their role in a shared accomplishment, so this behavior might be understandable in a toddler. Peter, however, is around twelve to fourteen years old. At his actual age, forgetting Wendy's contribution is no longer simply an innocent sign of immaturity. His poor memory and self-centered attention prevent him from recognizing another person's efforts, making him seem less like an endearing little child and more like someone who expects the world to revolve around him. Peter wants to preserve the innocence of childhood, but he also preserves behaviors that become increasingly inconsiderate as a person grows older.

     This connects to the way children learn to play games with other people. When parents tell children that it is how they play the game that matters, not whether they win or lose, they are teaching them to think beyond the immediate outcome. Winning might feel good in the moment, but being a good sport and treating other players well makes people want to play with you again. The same principle applies to life. If we only care about what we get out of an interaction right now, we may sacrifice the relationships and opportunities that would benefit us in the future. Growing up involves learning to consider those longer-term consequences.

     However, this does not mean that childhood itself is bad. We enjoy children partly because their excitement, innocence, and enthusiasm are appealing. The problem is that behaviors that are understandable in a baby become less acceptable as a person grows older. Peter wants to keep the freedom and potential of childhood without accepting the responsibilities that come with becoming older. By refusing to grow up, he also refuses to develop some of the qualities that allow people to cooperate, care for others, and build lasting relationships. In the end, Peter's greatest loss may be that he never grows into someone who can appreciate what other people have to offer.